Ka Ho'i Mai

Almost a year to the day (minus 5) since I wrote here. I think enough time has passed, the distance is great enough that I can face the things I cannot have without the pain cutting me to the core.

Everything Hawaiiana is boxed up and set in the attic shadows, with the exception of Ka Lei Ha'aheo and Pukui's dictionary. Dreams of graduating kumu hula are laid to rest, and my love for hula is folded up with hali'a aloha in the antique kerchief I wore at my waist on the stadium stage. The time for mourning has passed, and now, I can look ahead to a leisurely self-education with the main purpose of enhancing my writing.

Thus far, I keep a modest study routine, meeting with a dear hoa aloha once a week (when times are not too busy for the both of us) and practicing the material in Ka Lei Ha'aheo. Progress is slow, but thorough.

I also registered for the first long distance learning language course offered through Kamehameha Schools' "A'o Makua" program--'Ōlelo Hawai'i: E Ola Ka 'Ohana. It is the most affordable program I've yet found--$25 for 4 weeks--with the exception of the free Kulāiwi video series, available through the same organization.

I no longer have grand visions of becoming fluent, or becoming a learned scholar of Hawaiian language and culture. Those aspirations are beyond my reach, practically speaking. But I can strive for less lofty goals--becoming moderately knowledgeable of ka 'Ōlelo Hawai'i, at least to the degree I can incorporate the language and mana'o into my writing as inspiration requires. There is, after all, so much in my heart I'd like to express, and fiction is the only "acceptable" and accessible mode for me in my particular station in life.

'A'ole waimaka, 'a'ole hekili. E kū a'e ma kou mau lima--I mua....